Why did the insulin die in my pancreas?

I have been in contact with Shannon for over a year now. We clicked very quickly, and if I didn’t know better, I would have mistaken her for an Aussie. She introduced Lance and me to Maple Syrup..drool. Lance and Shannon’s son, Brendon were penpals for quite a while, but just like all good penpals, they stopped writing…however..we are going to amend that as soon as possible! Watch Mum’s inbox Brendon!!!

So my friend Shannon decided to tag me for a meme! I was quite honoured actually, being in Australia, I feel a bit out of the loop at times regarding Diabetes. I sometimes read posts and have NO idea about what they mean..our cultures are like chalk and cheese. So, I purposefully tried to give Shannon and her readers a splash of Australiarama. I hope you all still will come visit my blog after I post this…at least I was honest!

Once you’ve been tagged, you have to write a blog with 10 weird, random, facts, habits or goals about yourself. At the end, choose 6 people to be tagged, list their names & why you tagged them. Don’t forget to leave them a comment saying “You’re it!” & to go read your blog. You cannot tag the person that tagged you, so since you’re not allowed to tag me back; let me know when you are done so I can go read YOUR weird, random, facts, habits and goals.

1. When I was about 10, all I wanted in the whole world was an Alf doll. You know, the 80’s lovable alien that was in fact a “little person”inside a furry orange suit, who got up to all sorts of shennanigans with an All American family? Well I got that Alf Doll, and I loved it to death. 10 years later, my Mum pulled Alf out of the cupboard of shame-a chest of all of my childhood diaries, attempts at sewing, abyssmal attempts at home made Mother’s Day cards…you know the deal. I took it home and I showed it to my cat. Poor puss jumped four feet in the air, hissed and landed on the a rack of 100 CDs and was buried alive under my vintage Madonna CD collection. He hid for two days under my bed. Puss was psychologically scarred. Alf was banished to the cupboard. I later sold him on E Bay. Got 100 bucks. More than what my Mum paid for it. I took her to lunch with the profit I made from the successful new owner of Alf.

2. I have an obsession with tweezers. I carry them wherever I go. If someone has a stray eyebrow or an offending chin hair, I’ll pluck it. Same with pimples. The riper, the better. I have no issues whatsoever with busting open other peoples’ zits. I prefer my own though.

3. When I was 21, I won a karaoke contest with 3 gay boys. We sang “I Will Survive” in honour of our idol, Priscilla, she being of the desert. For Americans who have never seen Priscilla, Queen of the Desert, I thoroughly recommend. Guy Pearce, Hugo Weaving, Terence Stamp, all queening it up. It’s hilarious, darling!

4. As a poor and destitute Uni Student, I was living on 19 cent packs of generic brand noodles. ( Can I have some noodles with my MSG please?) Anyway, I was chatting to a friend one day, and he said to me, “You know, you have SUCH a sexy voice, you should do phone sex!” As a joke, grabbed the phone book and went through all of the phone sex agencies, and I offered my services to all of them. Afterwards, we sat back and cackled loudly at our childish prank……. About 5 months later, 6.30am in the morning, I was woken by a very insistent caller. I finally answered, and a hurried female voice replied, “Kate? You put your name down for work? You’re hired. Call this number in 5 minutes and then call me back on this number when he’s “through.” After the call, I was mortified at what had just occurred! However, the cash was the big lure. I could make hundreds of dollars a week, all by introducing Mai Ling, for fans of the Orient, Cinnamon, for the more suave, sophisticated gent, Brandy, the bucking bronco cheerleader from Montana and Katerina, a Russian immigrant lost and looking for love. I actually did an assignment for psychology about whether or not indulging in fantasy calls was considered socially unacceptable or regarding the married gents, if listening to a “voice” was crossing the line into infidelity, It got really sad when I discovered I was speaking to the same clients and they had no idea that “Brandy” and Mai Ling” were the same person. I felt guilty and my conscience gnawed away at me. I resigned, and breathed a sigh of relief. The “girls” were put to rest. Nevertheless, I made a quick 2 grand in a few months, just for saying “ooh” and “ahh” and “big boy” repeatedly, and watching movies with subtitles in my PJS whilst doing it!!!! (Sorry guys, I wasn’t in my leather thong like you wanted me to be….)

5. I am DYING to see Hugh Jackman with his whip on a horse in Baz Luhrmann’s upcoming epic, “Australia.” Even though Hugh doesn’t know it, we have been making eyes at each other for years.,..Sigh…

6. I am the only person with red hair in my immediate family. Then my brothers and sister had kids, and each got a “bloodnut.” I KNOW they secretly hate me for it. Being an Australian and a redhead is NOT fun. The nicknames are endless…the jokes and jibes are just torturous. Occasionally the odd lout will drive by in his ute and yell out “Carrot top!” to which I yell back “My hair’s not GREEN!” Lance is a very watered down version of a redhead…what we like to call “strawberry blonde.”

7. I just adore Australian slang. I was listening to two “sparkies” (electricians) who were doing some work at my house recently, their conversation was pure gold.

“Geez mate, this weather would kill a black dog wouldn’t it? Im dyin,ere! Cant wait to crack open a coldie when i get ‘ome. Yeah..watch the footie, bitta the news or somethin, and then probly hit the sack. I’m buggered. Ahhh no!!!!…the missus’ oldies are comin’ over for tea..ahhh geez…can’t get out of it or I’ll ave Cheryl on me back for the next bloody week…so i’ll just ‘ave to sit there and eat me grub and make an appearance, just for the missus’ sake, ya know? Bloody inlaws, always wantin’ to know too much about everythin.’ Anyway mayte, thanks for the chinwag, I’d better be off before Cheryl has me by the short’n'curlies! Hoo roo..yeah,..see ya mate.” If you need an interpretation..I’d be happy to translate.

8. I have a real, legitimate phobia. Billy Bob Thornton has a fear of antiques. Mine…CLOWNS. ARRRG. Just the thought of them sends shivers down my spine. When I think of a clown, I always envisage the one out of Steven King’s “It.” Sheer evil piece of work. You wouldn’t catch me near a circus for a million bucks. Shudder.

9. If I was a chick out of Sex in the City, I’d say I’d be Samantha with a hint of Carrie.. Spice Girls? Ginger Spice with a hint of Scary.

10. One day, when I am no longer housebound and shackled to Lance’s Diabetes, I am going to be just like Oprah and hire my own private chef, exclusively for Lance. That would be the biggest luxury in the world for me. I am SO not a hands in washing up water, tea towel drying girl… Lance’s idea of luxury is a visit to Legoland. It’ll happen one of these days. It has to.

I tag Dan, Lizzie, Janek, Kezza, Penny and James.