Genevieve, a reader, was speaking to an aquaintence whom she assumed was clueless about Diabetes.
That was until they stung the conversation with this little prick of a generalisation.
“ALL DIABETIC PARENTS ARE MISERABLE.”
Genevieve was insulted and furious that a person could utter such words.
However, she has put the question to me.
Are we all a pack of miserable sissy la la’s? Are we whining, self absorbed, pity party-ing heart attacks waiting to happen?
I’m going to leave this short and sweet. You can see my reply to my readers’ question in My Comments.
Other Parents are welcome to help enlighten Genevieve too. Or even if you aren’t a parent, take a stab at what you think. Thank you for participating.
Kate said,
25 May, 2008 @ 6:41 pm
Genevieve,
Thank you for taking this a step further rather than simply believing the statement that was mentioned by your friend.
My experiences with Type 1 Diabetes and being a parent have consumed almost 6 years of my life. I am sure that you could identify with the trauma and heartbreaklof being told that your child could have died without being admitted to hospital.
From Diagnosis Day through to about two years later, I was thoroughly miserable, and I’m the first to admit it. A person who does not know the life of a carer of the prodding and poking a Type 1 sufferer undergoes daily could never accurately comment on their quality of life. Because my son was only a baby, I experienced all of the typical grief emotions…but because my son depended on me 100% to survive, I didn’t have TIME to feel miserable. There are times when you feel exasperated, exhausted, angry…but these feelings pass. There isn’t time to mull. You have to be thinking ahead to that next meal, or that next shot.
I was fortunate enough to spend time with over 100 children with Type 1 Diabetes in Canberra two years ago. Never have I met such a vibrant, positive, sunny, friendly and charismatic group of people, let alone children in my life. Standing close behind each of these children were their parents. These children have learnt from an early age that they HAVE to continue living despite the misfortune of having Diabetes. There are so many successful sportspeople, musicians, entertainers, and people who have succeeded in life despite their Type 1 Diabetes. Their parents would have learnt very quickly also that there was no time for despair, or living in the depths of depression. Living with Type 1 Diabetes is all about being mentally strong, consistent, determined-you have to be so that you can send a healthy, self reliant and responsible child out into the world.
There is fear and loneliness behind every chronic illness. Type 1 Diabetes is a condition where there is constant monitioring, checking, double checking, preparing-the parent is a mathematician, a professional organiser, a chef, a nurse, an educator, a friend, a mentor and most importantly, a role model. Therefore, that cancels out your friends analogy that “all diabetic parents are miserable,” in fact, one of the things that we all share as a pet peeve is when we receive remarks like the one your friend made. These types of comments only make us stronger. They encourage us to educate and create awareness. They encourage us to fundraise. They enourage us to show our kids to shake these remarks off with their head held high. No miisery here. We just don’t have the time for it.
Shannon said,
25 May, 2008 @ 10:27 pm
You’ve said it perfectly, Kate.
I’m not sure why your friend’s friend made that comment. Does she personally know parents whose children have Type 1?
I have received comments from other bloggers thinking I’m miserable and depressed because of the posts I write. There are split second moments when my heart tightens up like when I check Brendon at night while he sleeps (or moments of another kind) and I write about that moment, but I’m not swimming in those moments. I write so that I’m not left with things inside of me that can lead to depression.
Overall, we take his care in stride and get the diabetes moments out of our way so that we can move on to more fun and necessary things like going to the park or doing homework and chores.
If there are miserable diabetes parents who your friend’s friend comes across, wouldn’t it have been nice if this person asked if there is anything he/she could do to help give them a break like being someone they can confide in or act as a babysitter? Instead of leaving them at the curb, try reaching out and lift them up.
bob@joyofdiabetes said,
25 May, 2008 @ 11:43 pm
As a type 1 (juvenile diabetic) who was diagnosed at age 1 and is now 45 years old, I can tell you that the statement of all diabetics being miserable is very far from the truth. I went through childhood, the teen years, and my adult life as a diabetic. I can tell you that I found peace with my diabetes a long time ago and I am a very very happy and blessed person. Go to my blog at http://www.joyofdiabetes.blogspot.com and I am sure you will see that diabetes is just a hurdle you jump, not a disease that defines you. I recently authored a book, The Joy of Diabetes as I have also heard a lot of negative people regarding diabetes. I don’t get it , I am not wired to focus on the negative and what I can’t do. I dont let what I can’t do get in the way of what I can do. Good luck in your diabetic walk…..it’s gonna be O.K.
feel free to email me or post on my blog. I wish you the best..Bob